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Five Point Someone: Why Men hate Fairy Tales.

We dream of fairies, we dream of angels
Someone as hot as a Barbie-que
Someone as beautiful as Rapunzel.
And in our dreams, floats our romantic sail
Curiosity killed the cat as to why,
In the real world, do we hate the fairy tale?

The question arose, “Given there is no pressure from his girl, would a man go to watch Snow White and the Hunstman?”
And if he dares to have a stag entry, even the security guards may well make fun of him, calling him names such as Justin Bieber. You never know. The sum of it is, a man would never ever wish to see a fairy tell. They hate fairy tales.


Injustice against Men: Fairy Tales have continuously been portraying men in negative light. They called the girl a beauty, and called us a beast? They punished Pinnochio when he lied, but praised Cindrella when she did so. Aladin was a dirty homeless boy. Tarzan was a wanderer, who walked without clothes on and Robin Hood was a thief. Gave Snow White all the fair and lovely she longed for, but denied the seven of us ‘Complan’.

Children Girls of Boredom: The tales that girls narrate, are all spiced up with boredom. And when you ask us for another tale, you got to be kidding. May it be a tale of the fairies, but all girls are the same may it range from Churails to Fairies.

Crisis: It happened only sometimes when fairy tales had proper roles for men. They made us a prince. One who will sweat it out travelling the whole city finding the girl who lost her shoe. One who will kiss the sleeping girl and then marry her. Urgh. Problem. It gave the habit to these girls to expect from us the same love, the same passion that we should put in. Almost a situation where a CA might just get up, bang the table and say, “Woh Raaja tha. Main Employee hoon.”

Isolation:  Whatever be our part in a fairy tale, as negative or as an animal (pigs and bears), we were never given importance. It was called a ‘fairy’ tale. 46% of injustice, and 54% of isolation. A boy aged 4 years, as if he is forcefully taught that chapter, and the next thing he knows that his ‘hero’ in the story was left out. Sad. He comes to know that it is all about importance of  girls. The child at such a small age, I pity that child in me from which I have grown.

Betrayal:  Girls are fairies, they said. They are loving and lovely, they said. The bitter truth arises when your first love leaves you. Fairies? To hell with fairies. All those tales betrayed us. Alas! We are at fault. We never realized, in real sense they were all ‘fairy tales’, all a fantasy.


Topic “Men always pretend to hate fairy tales” given by Chandramita Halder, history teacher at my school.
This may be termed as a ‘holiday’ homework.
Posts for other topics that she gave:
A maoist is slain.
Survival of the Cook-iest.

Survival of the cook-iest.

Chef Gusteau’s sole message in life was, “Anybody can cook”. The message seems as a sub topic in the culinary section of “Nothing is impossible”. But indeed, Anybody can cook. Even rats. There was Remy who cooked and cooked phenomenally. He finally become one but he was dying to become a chef. Coming to terms, that was all fiction. In the real world, unlike the fictitious, one may become a chef to survive.

He may become a cook to fight his quest for survival.

Lets be very honest. Cricketers don’t earn much money. They just get their match fees, some money from their boards, money that come as awards. Done. The players at the IPL earn in crores. Not much. Or to say that cricketers are those men who take the ‘only’ on cheques too seriously. How will a person survive in such low incomes. Economics was all wrong. They only mentioned the poverty line and never referred of the Posh line also known as the elite line. Living below the elite line is like these present living, then ancestors don’t have any feelings for the fifth generation that will come ahead. So, to survive in such low incomes needs some measure. One such desperate measure, as I mentioned, is cooking.

To no surprise, they even get sponsors here. Their photos show as if they have found the right measure for survival and it is ultimately the food that fills anybody’s stomach. They’re just cooking that food.

Survival is a very subjective term. For teenagers like us, for the culinary record, survival means the complete opposite to “dying without junk food”. Thus, quest for survival for teenagers can make them cook Maggi. This may either coax the mothers to eventually cook junk food for us rather than seeing their children facing such difficulties cooking. This may either help us teenagers find our cooking talent! 🙂 This may either help the chefs all over the world come to terms with a new innovation; if sugar is added instead of salt, if tea making material is added instead of masala.
Or it may atleast help us test our smoke detectors and exhausts fitted in our homes. Quest for survival has never been so easy.

I am so sure there is a cook hidden behind each of us. Probably we don’t recognize it or we prefer to stay lazy, or you have your secret recipes that you don’t want to reveal to the world. Hmm.. but Why be a cook? 
The fight for survival made the primitive men invent fire, what big thing is being a cook? Food maybe the basic need for living but cooked food is of prime priority. Potatoes can’t be bitten into like strawberries, and Brinjal can never make it your salad plate. You may eat Fruits, Dry Fruits, Salads and for everything else there’s cooking. (Like a mastercard!)
I am not denying any arguments of somebody surviving on Fruits and Salads, but that way you may be challenging Kareena Kapoor for the title of zero figure and of course the lightest person of your age. Oh. Wait. If you are an Indian, yes, I am denying. We can’t live without spices and oil. If not quest for survival, the love of these two can make them a cook.

It is for you to judge that how good I cooked this blogpost up with all the spices and tadkas but before leaving just one tip – Quest for survival will no doubt make you a cook, may it mean a bad cook. 

 

 

Topic by history teacher at my school, Birla High School. This was a tough homework! 😀

Girls are…

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Tried by all
but achieved by none
Nobody can have success with this
Nobody under the sun

Understanding girls is what I am talking about
the most difficult job men have been assigned with
whoever so has made an attempt
has fallen and tasted the regolith [Soil]

Here I make another attempt
Nothing to lose, for me.
For here’s no soil, only the bed aside
I would love to fall on it with glee! 🙂

I would like to present my case point by point.
1> Girls are sophisticated. Take the example of the barbie. She is non living. Yes. Grow up girls. She is non living. And even then her hair needs to be combed. Her dress needs to be changed. Her household needs to changed. I would like to appeal to all the parents not to buy their daughters a barbie because it is the root of all the sophistication that their daughter show when they grow up.

2> Girls are unpredictable. Suppose if we take an action as any equation. Say a + b. Then that particular action a + b can have 26 different reactions because the alphabet count has fallen short.  Actually I would not blame this on them. Rather we men and boys shall take a lesson not to predict or expect anything from girls. You will always end up in shock.

3> Girls are never content. I really like this extract from Kambakhth Ishq song –

Kehti hai sau taare dila do,
Maang mein phir unko saja do,
Antariksh ka thekha liya hai,
Bhaade pe kya rocket liya hai?

If the human race is called greedy, I owe 65% of it to girls. If malls exist today it is because of them. They move into every single store with almost no scope of getting satisfied. Durga Maa had eight hands. If all the girls supposed to be Durga Maa, the eight hands would only be having three shopping bags each and the credit card bearer, be it dad, boyfriend or anybody lying down in the position of Mahisasura with his wallet in the hand, empty. And of course this Durga Maa rides in her car bought in competition with her neighbor.

4> This brings me to my next point. Girls are envious. I believe I dont need to explain this point but I may never forget that face, those expression, those eyes which raged in envy of that aunt towards the other aunt beside her. Aah! Don’t blame me if am wrong. It may always be your way of adoring each other girls, no worries. 😀

5> Angry birds has been adapted from the life of these girls. Even when these birds kill the green pigs, they still are angry and with reference to the third point, they always want to kill the pigs in a better way so as to gain more praise. And actually, this anger of girls is directly proportional to their satisfaction. They are never satisfied, and so they never stop being angry.

6> Girls talk very much, very much. In a way I like barbies because they can’t talk. Otherwise, three fastest mean of communication are: Telephone, Television and Tell-a-woman! And of course, they are the biggest questionnaires this world has ever experienced. You need to attempt every question! 😀

7> Girls are a different specie altogether. I don’t have much theoretical proof but one –
Cats: Meow! Dogs: Bhow! Ducks: Quack! Lions: Roar! Cow: M0oo! Girls: Awwwww!   Kisi mahaan aadmi ne kaha hai, “Jo Aww naa kare, woh Aww-rat nai” And of course for every boy, the girls are from a different world, whatever be the reason! 🙂

But there is one thing. No matter how badly I have understood them above, they are the most beautiful gift this world can ever receive and the roles they play in our lives and the favors they do acting in those roles may never be returned.

That irritating your sisters
and watching them complain
That hangouts with your cousins
Memories of which will always remain
Girls who may never ever be your sisters
are your dear crushes and girl friends
What this life would have been without these girls
One cannot imagine the amends.

Topic by my cousin, Divya Agarwal. 🙂

 

 

 

^Update^

A poem that was written on August 22, 2012.

 

Ladki hi harr problem ka square root hai.

ladki ke baatein jhooth hai.

Asal mein yeh zinda Bhoot hai.

Dikhte bade cute hai

Apne adaaon se hume loot hai!

Bahar se sweet as a fruit hai

Lekin andar se kitne rude hai

Brain inme bada minute hai

bhara bhayankar attitude hai

Hamare zindagi ko karte reboot hai.

Hamare voice ko karte mute hai.

Akhiyon ki goli se karte hume shoot hai.

Yehi Kaaran ki Heart hamara toot hai

Yaadein inki, kare mind ko pollute hai

Yeh poem, unke liye salute hai

Yeh kavita, unke liye tribute hai.

 

And this is what one of my Facebook friends commented on the poem:

Kya kavita likhi hai aapne
Ladkiyaan abi lagi hain kaapne
Is Tribute ko dekh ke
Maaregi Slippers fek ke
Lagegi jab zor se
Karengi woh shor yeh
We have got the looks re
Not even seen in books re
Jaoge ladki ke peeche hi
Aur karte reh jaaoge hey hi hey hi.

To conclude, “Koi bachaaye hume inn haseeno se, Parr kaun bachayega inn haseeno ko hum kameeno se?”
Thank you! 🙂

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