The Dog Theory

Over the years, we have been studying about principles and ethics of business management. We have studied about Maslow’s Need Hierarchy along with works of Taylor, Fayol and McGregor but all of those missed a very important behavioral approach followed in every working group. An approach found in people who find kennels in any hierarchy.
This is the Dog Theory.
The Dog Theory_iChetan

The theory assumes that people are not dogs themselves but there’s a dog found living within which directs our behavior. The theory explains the following mechanisms:

1. Bark Mechanism: Expression is one thing, being loud and noisy about your actions is another. There’s a calm manner of doing things which is seldom followed by people. They needlessly bark in continuum. Do not reason why they bark. They will have no answer.


2. Loyalty Programme: Dogs are loyal. It has always been their unique selling point. Providence of shelter and food makes them lick their masters. You kick them when you are angry and pat them out of love but regardless they stay loyal. People in an organisation have given into their masters. They do not challenge the status quo. They do not ‘bark’ when required. They get shelter and protection and they reciprocate it with loyalty.


3. Elephant Repellent: In Hindi, we say, “Haathi chale bazaar, Kutte bhauke hazaar.” To the markets the elephants walk, thousand times will the dogs bark. Dogs cannot bear elephants, huge and royal, taking away all the love of their master. The master knows riding the elephant will give him pride but they fear to forgo the loyalty offered by the dogs. You tame a dog, but you have an elephant and there lies all the difference. In a work culture, people would not let you, the elephant, break the status quo and be successful. You have to be a dog or you don’t be anything at all.
The idea of becoming an elephant is too huge to strike their brains. Dogs who have forever been on street will not know what palaces taste like. They have forgotten the difference between royal and loyal.

When Dogs Bitch!

When Dogs Bitch!

4. Crooked Tail: Kutte ki dum, tedhi ki tedhi hi rehti hai.”  A dog’s tail has been known to all as the most stubborn thing the world may have witnessed. You just cannot align them. Yes, they do stand their point but exceed their limitations while doing that. Their master’s take? “Tedha hai, parr mera hai.” When no one in this world could do it, how can you in a work culture help making them straight? Thus, the dog theory persists.

Every Dog has its day

5. Stay Greedy, Stay Foolish: Try throwing a biscuit or a bread crumb to any random dog today. They would not eat it there and then. They’ll just smell it and then run after you for more. They know the biscuit you threw at them is their’s now. Thus, they’ll come with wagging tails and hanging tongues to you to sneak out another biscuit. Their greed motivates them to hoard and not to strive. It’s good to be hungry, worse to be greedy and this makes them foolish.


6. King of their Jungles: Dogs come in groups, the ferocious come alone. Dogs follow the herd mentality of moving in groups. They do not rule THE jungle, but just THEIR jungle. Their territory and their group is all they have got to pride on. Pick one out from their, you will probably see a pup.


7. Run, Stop and Smell:  If dogs see someone running, they chase them without any reason or purpose. Maybe to look if there’s something waiting for them too. For the very reason, they will stop and smell everything. They fear missing anything out. They fear if others would possess it before them. In a work culture, these people are the ones who will always pounce on you right after you are given any task. They don’t just poke their noses in, but sniff all that is inside too.

Stop and Smell

Dogs have been there on the streets perpetually. They bark, lick, eat, sleep and seldom we care, sometimes we fear, other times we get irritated. People with dogs inside them have perpetually been there in any organisation. Year after year, people have barked, fell for greed, wagged their tails, got most out of the love of their masters, and the others have been waiting beside. The queue behind the kennels is often ignored. One questions if the master will ever look beyond his pets, but all the master says is, “Beware of Dogs.” 

Not by Maslow.

Not by Maslow.

To conclude the Dog Theory,
“You will never reach your destination if you stop and throw stones at every dog that barks” – Winston Churchill. 


About Chetan

A twenty year old infant who fears if crows may shit on him or if Bengali aunties' umbrellas may prick him in the eye. He is currently waiting for Mamata Banerjee to leave Kolkata.

Posted on August 27, 2015, in Afford a Smile and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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