Why My Heart aches – Now – ?

I wish I can underline the now above in the heading.
So after two topics from my indiblogger friends, this topic was given by Jojopant – An emotional post, on something which is very very close to your heart. Four days ago, I did not even know what to write. I thought of denying the challenge. Here came the reckoning that there was nothing so negative in my life, and I say life’s not worth. I have faced sadness – a few big ones but nothing so big to come here and write about. So to conclude, “Sadness comes in small packages”  But unfortunately, I found my sadness just two days after.
Being a Headboy, it is always a duty to maintain discipline. And being in class 10 only it is always a duty to ensure mobiles are not brought to school. What people don’t understand is our work is to keep away mobiles and not to catch mobiles. My colleagues fail to understand even. So coming back to the topic, two days ago was the day when a post holder and a friend in me, the two virtues of me clashed.
There was my friend standing with mobile in his pocket, and there stood me with the badge on my shirt. There have been similar occasions before, the same people concerned and I have let go. The last time it happened was just a day after I got the topic. I was quite irritated to see the mobile then and I wanted him to see that I am angry, though I was not. I messaged him, “Today, I was a good friend and was a good post holder. Tomorrow I maybe just a head boy.”  And yes, the next day I was just a Headboy.
People don’t know what it feels to sieze your own best friend’s mobile because each year, only one out of every 200 gets to get in the same boots. People don’t know what it feels when your best friend is using his mobile in front of you. One of those times, your virtues of a friend may win, other times your sense of responsibility takes over.
Now that his mobile is gone, he obviously is not talking to me. As a friend, I have done a disaster. So many memories coming my way. We may be friends again, but there’ll be cracks. I can’t M-Seal them. Yes, I wish I can do that, and turn to be what we were before. It was one of those friendships, which stood distinct from others… as the case with all other friendships. 🙂 At the end of the day, I just can wish.

At the end of the day, I have full confidence in the decision that I took.  


About Chetan

A twenty year old infant who fears if crows may shit on him or if Bengali aunties' umbrellas may prick him in the eye. He is currently waiting for Mamata Banerjee to leave Kolkata.

Posted on November 16, 2011, in Specials, Topic Please and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 5 Comments.

  1. Ure blog…Choosing sides…very similar to this one….after reading this…i wish i never have responsibilities on my back…even that pinch of becuming sumthing in my skul has vanished……. But Chetan….just one thing to say….duties will come…duties will go….but…friends if gone….wont come again !


    • I will never be a Headboy again after this. Shubham, its not a question of duties coming and going.. I am the leader now, and if I fail to perform my duties, I am not fit to be something else next year.


  2. You have really taken the challenge head on! 🙂
    Glad you didn’t decline, as you were originally thinking.
    Just to clarify, emotional and close to heart can be something positive too.

    Hope your friend understands your position and you two become friends again.


  3. shivam agarwal

    Chetan , I know how it feels when your best friend doesn’t talk to you even though if it’s not ure mistake . An awesome blog yaar . Hope you and vedant bhaiya are back again . I would have done the same thing if i was there because I would love to do Justice to the duties given to me .If Vedant bhaiya really misses you ,it’s just a matter of time before he comes and talks to you .


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